Off Camera by Opal Adams

Author:Opal Adams [Adams, Opal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-06-06T16:00:00+00:00

6.

ELLIE

New York was everything I'd expected it to be: beautiful, busy and bustling.

I was also everything I'd expected me to be: exhausted and demotivated.

As much as I hated to admit it, my relationship with Aaron had been strained. We'd been friends, but it hadn't been a clean two weeks of tension-free conversation and smiles. It had gone from one extreme to the other: intense attraction that built to something so big that we had to ignore each other for a few hours to calm down. There were such big highs and lows that I was exhausted.

I'd been hoping for something stress-free. A bit of flirting and tension. It should have been easy.

Only it wasn't.

Take after take of us standing next to each other, either wanting to jump each other or wanting to run in the opposite direction.

It wasn't just Aaron that was taking its toll, though. I was seriously starting to doubt how cut out I was to be playing a big role in a top film. Instead of getting better each take, I knew I was getting worse. Instead of getting there early, trying to make sure I networked and met people, I was always getting there at the last minute, and praying that I needed to spend a long time in hair and make-up so that I could spend less time behind the camera.

More than anything, I just wasn't finding it fun. I didn't enjoy it.

And if I wasn't enjoying acting when I'd been given every opportunity, what was I going to do with my life?

So, it was in tears in an expensive hotel suite in New York that I gave my mom a call.

"Hello, sweetie," she answered. "How are you? How is New York? I'm very jealous."

I swiped at my eyes, and tried to make myself sound normal. Of course she was jealous, I was doing everything she'd always wanted me to achieve. I had no idea how I was supposed to tell her that I might actually hate it. "Hey, mom. I'm just... I'm having a bit of a crisis, actually."

There was a beat of silence. "What about? I'm sure we can talk it out."

"About acting. This whole thing. I'm really not enjoying myself filming this movie."

Another beat of silence. This one was longer. "You always knew that this was going to be a difficult profession. I tried to prepare you for that."

There was no doubt that my mom had prepared me for it. Ever since I could remember, watching a movie at home had never just been watching a movie. It had always included a running commentary about which actors were doing good and bad and why. There was always a snide tone about how she could have done better if she'd been in that part.

I'd been taken along kicking and screaming to my acting classes sometimes, with a slap on the back of the legs telling me to stop being a spoiled brat. That these were costing money and I wasn't going to squander my potential career like she had.

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